Saturday 28 April 2018

Monkey vs Man!


Hi there!

I am Kapi, a macaque. I am a Rhesus Macaque; scientifically they call me a macaca mulatta. We are found almost everywhere (tch tch.. look up, yes, there we are… no, on your left, no on the right, yes, just there!).




We are a playful lot, certainly harmless, just looking for lots of fun. Yet we are one of the most misunderstood species. You say we infiltrate your territory, but actually it is you humans who are always looking to invade our peaceful regions! And mind you, if you try to come too close, well… we like it! I mean, that way we will collect our tax: some food or anything shiny. If you refuse to give, we will simply snatch away! So whenever approaching us, or whenever we are approaching you, have an open mind to give something to us!




Don’t believe me? Well, let me recite 2 stories of one your species, Shobhit, who, like us, seem to be almost anywhere!

1: Mehandipur Balaji

One of the most iconic Hindu gods, Lord Hanuman, is also our ancestor. And Mehandipur Balaji temple in Dausa district of Rajasthan is his abode. Not only among us macaques, but the temple is also sacred amongst humans. We know from ages ago that this temple has miraculous healing power, especially for those who are possessed by evil spirits of macaques or other humans (yes, I am talking about exorcism!). And you know, in the spirit world also, you humans have infiltrated our territory!





Due to its reverence, we have generously lent to the humans our lands and territory around the temple area. Of course, we do regularly collect our tax – mainly the delicious food, some shelter and lots of frolicking around!

One fine afternoon, my family and I were resting on a terrace of some dharamshala (pious shelters where pilgrims take rest). We are a family of over 25, including my brothers, sisters, kids, kids’ kids and kids’ kids’ kids. I am the head, as I have the longest tail of them all, and I am the biggest one too (what!? who said there “actually, the fattest one”!?).

We were soaking in the shiny sun in solitude when, suddenly, someone or something shattered the serenity of silence. “Squeak-squeak-squeak” the stopper was being unbolted, than “bang!” the black terrace-door crashed opened. Some of the frightened birds flew hither thither as a bigger and fatter figure hustled from inside.

This was Shobhit, a typical human! “Waaaw”, he exclaimed from the second-storey terrace, as if he had climbed the Himalayas to reach here! Though, I would agree, the view of the Aravalies from the terrace is certainly wow-inducing.




There was a curious shiny little thing dangling from his neck, which he regularly used to place in front of his eye, press some button, look into it and exclaim “Waaaw!” (Later I came to know that this shiny thing was his camera). He seemed to be un-frightened about our presence (mind you, we were 25 of us!). Even though he kept a ‘safe’ distance from us, he had broken into our privacy and intruded our peace! That demands some serious tax!

And, we had found a way to collect our tax: he had kept the black terrace-door ajar. Stupid him! All we had to do was to sneak inside and collect as much tax as possible! Sounds easy, isn’t it?

No – there was a catch! It seemed that he had set up a sort of ambush downstairs. Just as we were finishing our business (yes, monkey business as usual - gathering food for our children, and also ‘borrowing’ some shiny items for them to play with) some humans attacked us. They came with boots and sticks. They came in numbers. “Thwack!” a severe blow landed – my posterior is still red… ouch! Agreed, my friends made noises and frightened the innocent pilgrims, agreed that we made the pilgrims shriek just for fun, but really we meant no harm! Hey, this is us, we do the messing around, we make the noises and you know that! Why beat us for our gaiety? Why always so serious, you humans?

Not only our posteriors, but our faces were also red due to anger! We rushed upstairs, dropping everything we had arduously collected, and hurled ourselves through the black terrace-door. To rub salt to our wounds, we caught our chubby guest making faces just like we usually do, oblivious of all these happenings, while ‘waaaw-ing’ away with his shiny thing. Making fun of us? Grrr… Revenge time!

He was initially startled when we hurtled from the terrace door one by one like bullets coming out of barrel. And mind you, our faces bore expressions of anger! But look at his audacity, he was still unperturbed, or was he petrified due to fear? Probably the latter, for I decided to show-off by making a droplet of saliva drip from my sharp canine, and this was enough to propel him to run! This fat boy can run, aha! But he cannot outrun us! And where would he go? The black terrace-door was behind us, the 25-strong group of macaques!

He ran, nevertheless. We ran behind him, thumping the floor with our clenched fists and growling in anger. He ran faster, we ran more rapidly. He wanted to get away, but we were gaining on him. He started getting exhausted, but not us! He was protecting his shiny thingy, but that’s what we were after! All this commotion had attracted my brother-monkeys from other terraces, and our numbers swelled. “Revenge time!”, I growled, and my family reverberated. “Vengeance!”

But what happened next was completely unanticipated!

His face was suddenly lit for a moment. Had an idea struck him? Unexpectedly, he stopped, and started shouting gibberish at the top of his lungs. He sort of entered into a trance, as if possessed by some evil spirit. “He is at the right place!” I thought, “Arre isko koi leke jao Mandir pe (Someone, please take him to the Temple for exorcism!)”

I noticed that all his sudden actions were targeted especially at me, since I was the biggest one. And boy, was I scared! Never have I ever seen a human doing such actions unless he is possessed. And it seemed like he was possessed by a truly evil monkey-spirit, since he jumped and screamed like a huge monkey! Maybe that’s why he was targeting only me. Meanwhile, I, who was leading the charge, now had to back away, because the table had turned – it was him who was now charging at us! (Did someone say “Pacman strategy”?) Furthermore, my 25-member family was also terrified. As he charged at us, we had to make way, or he could have trampled us!

We breathed a sigh of relief as soon as he ran past us, towards the black-terrace door. Hold on – towards the door? Had we allowed him to escape? He looked back at us with a smirk upon his face. “Chase him!” I shouted while dashing across, but now it was too late. As soon as he exited the terrace, he unfortunately shut the door behind him - “Bang!” and then “thud-thud-thud!” as we crashed onto the terrace-door. Along with my posterior and face, my head was also now red!



2: Bhimashankar

Now, humans have so much infiltrated our territory that some of the only safe havens left for us are the dense jungles like those near Bhimashankar.


Bhimashankar is one of the 12 Jyotirlingams (divine Shiva-lingams, dedicated to Lord Shiva). It is about 150 kms away from Mumbai, in Maharashtra. Humans who are like us macaques generally trek 15 kms from the base village Khandas, through our territory of dense forests, to reach Bhimashankar. There is also a 200 km direct road to Bhimashankar. I don’t know why humans don’t take this route, and always look to invade our solitude.


One fine day, while holidaying down south near the jungles of Bhimashankar, I spotted a familiar face dazed and lost among the woods. Our old enemy, Shobhit, all alone this time, was hastily heading towards a desolate homestead in the middle of the dense forest. Certainly he had lost his way, because even we macaques do not dare to venture near the haunted looking homestead.

Earlier too, as per our secret correspondent at the Khandas village, he seemed to have lost his way near a small shrine en-route. He had missed a turn towards the correct route, and in this wilderness, one missed turn could certainly make things ugly. He was in luck, though, as he was unable to get past the thorny cobwebbed thicket which hid other nightmares… After 30 mins of desperate search for the right path, he had finally found one, which led to the small deserted shrine, an important milestone for the trekkers.

What interested me, however, were the goodies that he carried in his bag, as my correspondent friends reported. At the deserted shrine, he took some rest and munched on delicious looking food - chocolates, biscuits and packed juice. From that time on, my friends were secretly but closely following him…

After about 2 hours, he was lost again. Maybe, the scary looking herd of the biggest of cows and buffaloes from the nearby settlement had blocked the correct trail, but he had certainly missed the turn again. Instead, he took the trail which was heading downwards in the opposite direction.

After venturing downwards some distance, he returned, looking anxious and searching desperately for the right trail. In just few hours, it would be twilight.

We macaques were high up among the trees so that he couldn’t see us. We watched his every move without even his knowledge: he was too concerned about the foliage and what lay beneath… “Crunch, crunch, crunch…” was the only sound as he walked on the carpet of dry yellow leaves on his way towards the compound. It was so thick that even the earlier trail seemed to have been buried underneath it…

He made his way upwards towards a clearing hoping to find the correct trail, but his each step was carrying him closer towards the abandoned homestead which stood almost in isolation, away from the correct trail. I could see his desperation turn into shock, as he realized that there was no trail leading into or out from the fenced compound… Out of desperation, he let himself into the fenced compound through an unbolted door hoping to find someone, since the small hut inside looked a little too well-maintained to believe that it was actually abandoned. There was something uncanny about silence - he could even hear its sound. However, there was neither sound nor sign of any other human…


And in just a few minutes, he came back sweating and looking terrified. God only knows why. I remembered how he made us terrified that day at Mehandipur Balaji. “Now’s the best time for us to take the revenge”, I thought, “Time to collect our undue taxes!” From high up on the trees, I decided to jump on his bag to frighten him further, so that he just leaves his bag and run for his life. “DHAAM!” my aim was perfect as I landed on his goodie-filled backpack, but the impact was so great that it nearly made him topple, which made the backpack shake violently, forcing me to jump off it.


He ran, as fast as he could, without even turning to see who/ what actually fell. He ran down towards the herd of scary looking buffaloes, who looked lot friendlier to him that time. “Oh, again, opportunity lost…” I thought. 

After a full 10 minutes of waiting amongst the cattle, he looked calmer. So, again he took to explore the abandoned compound in search for a trail, which was never meant to be found there. We sensed our opportunity… But I did not know fate had other, more sinister plans… The real terror was about to come…

He again neared the deserted compound. “Crunch, crunch, crunch…” I looked down towards him, and this time he stood frozen. “Crunch, crunch, crunch…” the sound came from other side of the bushes. “Crunch, CRUNCH, swoosh” His face turned white as he watched an unkempt man, with thick Veerappan-like moustache, suddenly appeared out of the bushes. Even though I was high among the trees, I myself was terrified – the Unkempt Man carried a long machete, swinging it carelessly in his right hand as he walked slowly towards him…


Shobhit remained petrified: the Unkempt Man, wielding his machete threateningly, came too close to his comfort, but he was too terrified to even move. Just as I thought he would wield his blade at Shobhit anytime, the Unkempt Man walked past him, bringing colours back to his face. But just a few steps afterwards, the Unkempt Man stopped and turned around to beckon him to follow. God only knew his intentions… As if hypnotised, Shobhit followed him and disappeared behind the veil of thick foliage. That was the last time I ever saw him and I do not know as of yet what may have happened to him…

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All the images in story 1 and one image from story 2 are downloaded from the internet.

2 comments:

  1. Quite innovative take bhai, But yeah some parts made me feel fearful, It seemed like a thrilling movie of a monkey... :D

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  2. Hi bhai, Waiting for new post...

    ReplyDelete